Blessed To Be Stressed

Lately I feel as if I can't keep up.  Life continues to pile-on without allowing me to finish the last thing that was added to the to-do list.  It's no surpirse that I have allowed the tough times to drag me down.  It's usually when I try to depend on myself to fix things that I continue to fall.  Thankfully I have an amazing Heavenly Father who taps me on the shoulder and reminds me that if I depend on Him, He will provide all the strength I need to handle life's to-do list.

Chris' back pain is an ongoing struggle between doctors and insurance.  This has been going on so long that working life around his pain has become a way of life.  I depend on him to finish the day at home while I work at night.  Simple tasks such as bathing Sarah or loading the dishwasher causes him so much pain, it's not worth the help.  There's always a dish in the sink and our home is a disaster zone.  I've chosen to be okay with the mess. 

 

As for the battle with the insurance...they are functioning under the misguided theroy of penny smart pound foolish. They have no concern for Chris' quality of life. I understand their job is to limit costs, but I do believe a surgery to remove a possible bad disk would cost more than a contrast die test of the disk to make sure the disk is the problem before moving forward.  Common sense just isn't common anymore.



I have fought the urge to drop to my knees begging God to answer why he must suffer so. I feel like I'm holding on by my fingernails though. The answers I have seen though this trial is that I am very capable of doing a man's chores. I feel so weak watching him suffer. I've watched him cry himself to sleep because the pain is so unbearable. Showers are misery to lift his leg over the side of the tub. Shaving is a challenge of holding his arm up to his face long enough to finish. I've always known he was strong. I don't know how he hasn't cracked under the pain. I do know that we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us.

This week our sweet home Alabama was destroyed by an unusual winter tornado. There's a reason why winter highs shouldn't get up in the 70's when neighboring parts of the country are in the 20's and 30's. We know people who lost their homes. Fortunately we don't know anyone who lost their lives. Tragedies like this cause me to exam our personal situation a lost closer. Don't get me wrong, times are tough right now. Chris' back pain is only one of the many things on my plate right now. I am so blessed to be able to face these struggles. God promises to give us no more than we can bear. I know through all of this we are growing. At the end of a very long day, I come home to this amazing little family in a very dirty house!

Now enjoy the rest of this post in pictures from our October photo shoot at Catigny Park in Wheaton!