Blessed To Be Stressed

Lately I feel as if I can't keep up.  Life continues to pile-on without allowing me to finish the last thing that was added to the to-do list.  It's no surpirse that I have allowed the tough times to drag me down.  It's usually when I try to depend on myself to fix things that I continue to fall.  Thankfully I have an amazing Heavenly Father who taps me on the shoulder and reminds me that if I depend on Him, He will provide all the strength I need to handle life's to-do list.

Chris' back pain is an ongoing struggle between doctors and insurance.  This has been going on so long that working life around his pain has become a way of life.  I depend on him to finish the day at home while I work at night.  Simple tasks such as bathing Sarah or loading the dishwasher causes him so much pain, it's not worth the help.  There's always a dish in the sink and our home is a disaster zone.  I've chosen to be okay with the mess. 

 

As for the battle with the insurance...they are functioning under the misguided theroy of penny smart pound foolish. They have no concern for Chris' quality of life. I understand their job is to limit costs, but I do believe a surgery to remove a possible bad disk would cost more than a contrast die test of the disk to make sure the disk is the problem before moving forward.  Common sense just isn't common anymore.



I have fought the urge to drop to my knees begging God to answer why he must suffer so. I feel like I'm holding on by my fingernails though. The answers I have seen though this trial is that I am very capable of doing a man's chores. I feel so weak watching him suffer. I've watched him cry himself to sleep because the pain is so unbearable. Showers are misery to lift his leg over the side of the tub. Shaving is a challenge of holding his arm up to his face long enough to finish. I've always known he was strong. I don't know how he hasn't cracked under the pain. I do know that we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us.

This week our sweet home Alabama was destroyed by an unusual winter tornado. There's a reason why winter highs shouldn't get up in the 70's when neighboring parts of the country are in the 20's and 30's. We know people who lost their homes. Fortunately we don't know anyone who lost their lives. Tragedies like this cause me to exam our personal situation a lost closer. Don't get me wrong, times are tough right now. Chris' back pain is only one of the many things on my plate right now. I am so blessed to be able to face these struggles. God promises to give us no more than we can bear. I know through all of this we are growing. At the end of a very long day, I come home to this amazing little family in a very dirty house!

Now enjoy the rest of this post in pictures from our October photo shoot at Catigny Park in Wheaton!

New Year's Day

We spent New Year's Day at my mom's house.  We never get to spend enough time together.  Last Christmas, I got sick and couldn't be around my grandma because of the virus.  This Christmas, my mom was sick and of course, didn't want to spread it to Sarah or me.  We had planned our get together for New Year's day because of my sister's trip to Disney World.  We just didn't get to stay as long as we had planned.  No matter how little time you get with family is better than no time at all!

New Year's Eve

We spent New Year's Eve at my sister's house.  My step-brother, his wife, and children came over too.  I'm horrible at getting everyone together for pictures.  I finally rounded up all the children for a Johnsey cousins family picture!

These two are so cute together!  They look just like my sister and I did at that age.  

Anna has a loose tooth that she didn't want to show me!

It was warm enough in Alabama on New Year's Eve to roast hot dogs and smores!

 All the girl cousins making silly faces!

Campfire marshmellows prove to be too big for smores!  Lots of sticky kids later that evening.

 

A sleeping bag sleep over.  An easy end to a fun night!

Christmas Morning 2011

Christmas morning found Sarah still snug in her bed long after Santa stopped by to drop off her presents!  I kept waking up through out the night just like my sister and I did years ago to check if the big guy had come yet!  Sarah on the other hand is a Christmas morning sleeper!  She sleeps later this one morning than any other regular morning!  This year we had to wake her in order to get to church on time.  The first words out of her mouth were "has Santa come yet?"

 One day I'll figure out how to keep my finger out from in front of the flash!

 I think finding all the milk & cookies gone is really Sarah's favorite part of the morning!

Torture!

She really didn't have time to play with her new toys before church.  So once we got home and a quick change of clothes, we started having fun with all her new toys!

Christmas Eve--The Tale of the Christmas Cookies

I love traditions and customs.  The holidays are especially my favorite time for traditions.  I remember chatting Chris' ear off before we were even expecting a baby of how I wanted to create traditions for our children.  So Christmas Eve quickly rolls around this season.  The hustle and bustle of the week didn't allow for cookies to be made before hand.  I kinda liked, past tense intended, the idea of making Santa's cookies on Christmas Eve.

So late that evening, we got busy rolling dough, cutting out shapes, baking, icing and decorating.  I was kinda proud of myself. Sarah was getting ready for a shower and I was cleaning up around the cookies to snap a picture of course.  I remember thinking as I wiped the counter how horrible it would be if I knocked them off onto the floor.  Honestly a split second later and all three layers of cookies went crashing onto the floor.  I burst into sobs.  Earlier that day, my cake stuck to the pan.  That had never happended in all my years of baking.  I had just heard a commercial for name brand baking sprays that promise baked goods would not stick to the pan.  I thought to myself  'Yeah right.  Store brand is just as good.'  Well folks I learned my lesson there too.

I calmed down after a loving hug from Sarah.  Thankfully I had more cookie dough and made simple peanut butter and chocolate kiss cookies.  I'm sure Santa isn't picky and we got a funny story for Christmas' to come.  Next year baking will be done in advance!

The cookies baking in the oven before they met with the floor and two happy dogs!

 The replacements!

 All ready for Santa & his reindeer!

Preschool Christmas Program

Sarah's preschool always puts on a Christmas program the week school lets out for the holidays.  This year's program was really cute and the kids did a great job singing!  They all know Santa will visit and bring them a gift.  Sarah was convinced it would be the gifts she asked him for Christmas.  It took some convincing her that it would be something different so she wouldn't be disappointed like last year!

Visit with Santa Claus 2011

 Today we visited with Santa Claus!  Sarah was excited and I was pretty proud of myself for not waiting to the last minute like usual.  We got there just as he was getting ready for lunch.  I had planned on getting there earlier, but some pain meds left at home coupled with a late night the night before just didn't equal us getting up at at 'em too early this morning.

She's getting so big that Santa had to ask her to jump as he lifted her onto his lap.  He asked her if she was a princess and I don't think she knew how to answer that question.  You don't want to lie to Santa even though you are a pretend princess!  Thankfully she is on the nice list.  He gave her a hug and a 'ho ho ho' which made her day!  Earlier she told me that he wouldn't say that at the mall; only at the North Pole or on his sleigh. 

 She's as tall as a polar bear cub!

I can't believe she's 4.5 years old now!  The years are flying bye.  I thought I had more pics of her with Santa on the blog, but I guess not.  You can see Her first visit with Santa here.  I'm really shocked I didn't post the others.  I guess that can be another blog post!

 Waiting in line has really changed since I was a kid.